I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
