it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
