peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
