I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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