Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
