i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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