I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize