Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
