come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
being pregnant is like rehab
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Bring me that man meat
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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