New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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