He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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