If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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