8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
