Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
