I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
