oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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