If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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