There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
