Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
