do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Randomize
