don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
