An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
