I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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