I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
