she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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