If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
