better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
