it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the day after is always just damage control
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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