i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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