Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
