Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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