Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
