I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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