You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
