My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
