I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
