I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
