In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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