I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
