I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize