playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Randomize
