walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
