Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
