if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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