SEEEEXXX PLEASE
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
No subtext here. People are naked.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
