He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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