Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I will be naked everywhere
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
