I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
