I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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