My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
