it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
