What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
