I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
