Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
