he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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