and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
