it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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