Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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