K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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