You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
