dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize