your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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