used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
